


The Big Merman

by morrezela



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Homophobia, Little Mermaid, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Royalty, Same-Sex Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 21:32:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morrezela/pseuds/morrezela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is a merman who falls in love. His problem is that whole, pesky ban in place to keep merfolk from revealing themselves to the humans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Big Merman

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Slight references to homophobia and xenophobia
> 
> A/N: his is my first j2_everafter fill for 2013. My chosen film was The Little Mermaid. Beta provided by fantasaria. All mistakes you find are my own.

Prince Jensen had a dog. Jared knew this was a poor reason to have a crush on a guy. Yes, he should be more interested in the fact that Jensen was a prince or impossibly handsome or generously kind-hearted. Those were all very admirable traits, and Jared did admire them.

But a dog! Jared couldn’t have a dog. Dogs needed air. Jared lived in the water. The whole arrangement just wouldn’t work

Oh, sure, there were things that he could have under the sea that the humans could not. He had no doubt that in the number of sailors and pirates that drowned each year over half would dearly wish to trade their legs for a nice set of water-breathing lungs.

Of course, they wouldn’t need that if Jared’s father would remove the ridiculous ban on the surface. What were the humans going to do? Fire their cannons straight down in the water? The currents alone would make aiming a dubious feat. The idea of physical assault was plain ludicrous. The guard would only have to drag them deeper into the water and drown them.

As for the merfolk, attacking the humans was as silly as humans attacking Jared’s great underwater city. The instant they were out of the ocean, they became nothing more than easy targets for guns. Sure Jared’s father might be able to use his powers to take, say, the beach. But what then? There would be an endless swarm of humans pouring down on them.

It was all just very annoying. Especially the part where Jared couldn’t go sunbathing. As far as he could tell, the practice of sitting upon the small islands and enjoying a bit of warmth used to be common practice for his people. The choral groups used to favor the magnificent rock mountains whose peaks rose into the skies because of the acoustics, but Jared would settle for a sandy beach.

The white sands were cushy on his tail. And while Jared loved to chatter, his singing was less than stellar. Nobody was going to want to hear it echoing on some old, moss covered stone walls. But still, the entire king’s chorus seemed to agree that their musical talents and creativity were being stifled by the lack of clear air.

Jared, much to his father’s dismay, agreed with them. Not possessing musical talent was not the same as not appreciating it. And humans had cool instruments.

Take, for example, Jared’s beloved. Jensen had this large wooden object that he carried around with him. A guitar, Jared thought it was called, but he wasn’t sure. He had seen smaller versions of it that were played with a stick with hair attached to it, and they seemed to be called violins. Or fiddles. Or violas.

There was also a larger version of it that was called a bass, but it was called a cello if played with a larger version of the hair-stick. Humans could be very confounding that way. Jared had a theory that they used a lot of words because they were so easy to say. Air was kind of awesome like that.

Whatever Jensen’s wooden, stringed instrument was called, it was pretty to listen to, and Jared knew for certain it was not the same under water. He’d found one in a shipwreck just the other day, and the results of touching the strings had been less than pleasing. The same went for the flutes he had found.

Although, the cymbals were kind of neat underwater, if he did say so himself. Their loud crashing was greatly diminished, but they made funny water currents when slammed together with enough force.

The point was that humans had a great venue for showcasing their talents. It wasn’t fair that the merfolk didn’t get the same opportunity. Of course, Jared could be projecting a little bit. He had desperately wanted to grow up to be an actor, and his father had forbidden it.

There had been some big speech about how it wasn’t befitting for a prince who might someday inherit his trident. As far as Jared was concerned, that was a bunch of sea silt. He had six siblings ahead of him in the line for the throne. If the kingdom got down to him for their leader, he sincerely doubted his profession would be able to save them no matter what it was.

But that wasn’t the point. The point was that Prince Jensen was the most perfect human who had ever lived. Jared had made sure of it. After first spying the handsome and very talented human on his big sailing vessel, Jared had carefully observed him. He thought that the humans might call his behavior stalking, but humans could be silly at times.

Besides, if Jared hadn’t been watching, then he wouldn’t have seen Prince Jensen almost die saving his dog, or been around to save him from that fate. So what if it was against the rules? Jensen had been hit in the head and was drifting oh so poetically towards the bottom of the sea to make a very beautiful corpse for about the hour or so before the fish started pecking his dead eyeballs out.

Jared couldn’t let that happen. Jensen didn’t deserve to die because of his selfless act of dog rescue, even if tripping overboard while the dog landed in the lifeboat wasn’t exactly a graceful, princely act. So Jared grabbed the prince and pulled him above water so that his oddly pouty lips and almost perfect nose could take in air. And Jared just had to take him to a nearby island. The tiny boats that the rest of the humans were clinging to were full of humans who were bound to notice the stranger carrying their prince. Jared might tempt fate on occasion, but he wasn’t stupid enough to enrage his father by blatantly advertising his existence.

Letting go of Jensen’s very warm body was a poor option as well. For one thing, it was a very nice body to hold. Jared liked it a lot. Prince Jensen smelled good and was very muscular. Thinking about him made Jared’s tail fins all excited. Plus there was the whole drowning thing. Prince Jensen wasn’t going to float on his own. Saving him just to let him go and drown again seemed counterproductive.

So an island it was. Jared stayed around to make sure he was okay, alright? It had very little to do with looking at how handsome Prince Jensen was, even when his hair was all weird and spiky from drying saltwater and misplaced kelp bits.

Jared didn’t sing to Prince Jensen, though he sorely wanted to do so. Nightmares would be a bad thing to give an injured man, and Jared’s brothers had often commented on how his voice could inspire bad dreams. Jared was known for his beauty, not his vocals. Best hair in the kingdom five years running: Jared’s claim had not been seriously challenged since his father finally conceded to letting him grow out that atrocious bowl cut. His muscles were as solid and defined as any soldier’s, and his tail? Jared’s tail was the prettiest in the kingdom.

Its scales were varying shades of green that flowed into silver tips. It shimmered more than any other’s tail as he swam through the ocean, and it was dizzying in pure sunlight. Not that Jared had anybody’s opinion but his own on that matter, but he had eyes.

Really, Jared’s looks made up for his lack of musical ability. It was just too bad that he wasn’t going to be able to use them to tempt the fair skinned human into giving him a kiss or two.

Eventually, Prince Jensen woke up. Which was a good thing overall, but a big sign that Jared needed to vacate the premises. Even as Jared slipped back into the water, he couldn’t help but feel his heart pound with excitement that wasn’t borne of adrenalin from almost exposing himself.

No, Jared’s heart pounded for a completely different reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m telling you that he was real,” Jensen argued with his manservant.

“You were dehydrated, concussed and delirious. And, might I add, not wearing your glasses,” Mark pointed out. “‘He’ could have been a seagull for all the cognizance your brain had going on.”

Jensen scowled at him. “He was very large and had the most perfect hair. He was not a seagull.”

“You couldn’t even paint his face,” Mark scoffed.

“I…”

“Don’t try to tell me you can’t draw, I have a room full of portraits that tells me otherwise. Sire,” Mark added on after a moment.

“I’m starting to regret dismissing Kripke,” Jensen told him.

“Bah, that old sycophant. What did he ever do for you except for almost get you married off to that girl? Although, you married to any girl would be quite the feat.”

Jensen flushed and looked away. “You know that will be your duty soon enough. ‘Saving’ me from one marriage will not save me from the others.”

“See, that’s why you should enjoy your bachelorhood now. Take a few of those sailors to bed with you the next time you’re out on the seas. It wouldn’t be anything new for them. Just check for the poxy first, alright? Can’t have the royal dick falling off.”

“You’re rather vile,” Jensen told him.

Mark sketched a bow in response, smiling lips telling him that he considered Jensen’s words a compliment.

“And I can’t go bedding sailors. I want to love the person that I…”

Mark held up a hand. “Don’t say it. Please. I don’t want to hear how you’re the only prince in all the lands that has actually ascribed to the idea of keeping it until marriage. It will make me sad.”

“Not marriage, love,” Jensen protested. “Although, I would like to share that expression of love in our marriage bed, I fear I will not be able to do so. My heart and duties will be forever separate.”

“How very noble, charming even. Why they could write storybooks about you,” Mark chided as he pulled out Jensen’s clothes for the day. “Meanwhile, you’re a miserable, sad and lonely man who thinks himself in love with a delusion brought about by seawater and his own poor eyesight.”

“Sheppard, I can hire Kripke back,” Jensen threatened.

“No, you can’t. Not when you convinced the old coot that he was being promoted by taking over the vineyard estates. Though, I do admit, the table wine has vastly improved this year. I think it’s all the rain that his gloomy presence has been attracting to the area.”

Mark threw Jensen’s shirt at him. “Now get your arse out of bed. There are court people that need appeasing before you drag your floofy dog and guitar out to the beach for your princely moping session.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So my tail and my voice for a pair of legs?” Jared asked as he looked over the contract.

“And your hair, Deary,” Sebastian pointed out, one monstrously huge crab leg coming forward to tap against a sub-clause on the agreement.

Jared frowned. “All of it?”

Sebastian tilted his head to the side. “Eh, just the head I think. For you, I’ll even let you keep those atrocious sideburns. Royal family discount and all.”

“I like my side burns,” Jared huffed as he read over the contract again.

“That makes one of us,” Sebastian said.

“So I have to get him to kiss me, right?” Jared clarified. That seemed awfully easy to him, but he wasn’t stupid. There was always a catch when dealing with a Sea Lawyer.

“Yep, right there in plain, above board and completely ethical wording,” Sebastian assured him with an oily grin.

“No kiss by the third day and my property defaults to you?” Jared squinted at the scroll. “That isn’t exactly a whole lot of time.”

“It’s a kiss,” Sebastian said dismissively. “What, you don’t think you can charm the boy? Not merman enough for it? Romance is for later. Sex is for now.”

Jared hesitated.

“You won’t find a better deal. Of course, you’re free to go. Go back to your sad little life in the sea. No handsome, charming young man to make you happy. No warm sun on your skin. But I’m sure that your career will be very rewarding. Accounting sounds so… safe.”

“Lawyers,” Jared said derisively as he signed the contract.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bald heads sucked. It wasn’t that Jared was bereft without his silky mane; his fingers could find other things to toy with. But his head was cold. It was no wonder that humans wore so many clothes. In the sea, nice bras were all that was needed.

Fish liked to nip at mermaid nipples, and the girls were more than willing to whine about how unfair it was that merman nipples weren’t as attractive to the nuisances. But other than that, tail scales and the water meant that there wasn’t much need for other types of protection.

Having his junk out in the breeze was almost as uncomfortable as his bald head. Almost, but not quite.

Most annoying, though, was the walking. Jared’s feet hurt. The concept of shoes had sort of been lost on him before, but now he was doubting the sanity of every human that he had ever seen go barefoot. It sucked.

A loud barking interrupted Jared’s inner fuming about sand, broken seashells and pointy rocks. A large dog bounded into his view, Prince Jensen’s dog. Jared’s discomfort disappeared, and he felt himself grinning.

“Oscar,” he voicelessly called. It came out as nothing but an exhalation of air, but that didn’t matter. Oscar came bounding over anyway, proceeding to lick at him and bark.

Even voiceless, Jared was a natural with the dog. Oscar was on his back in minutes, getting his belly scratched.

“Oscar? Oscar!” Prince Jensen’s voice soon carried over the air. “Here boy.”

Oscar looked in the direction of Jensen’s voice and snorted. Then he looked at Jared and wagged his tail, butting his head up against Jared’s hand when more pets were not forthcoming.

Dogs were so neat.

“Osc… Oh, man. Uh, hi?” Prince Jensen’s voice cracked, and his skin turned an alarming shade of red as he looked away from Jared.

“Hi,” Jared tried to say, although it came out as more of a wheeze.

“Man, being shipwrecked sucks, right?” Jensen said as he started tugging off his shirt.

Jared liked that view. It was very pleasant.

“Here,” Jensen said as he thrust the shirt out to Jared, his eyes firmly closed.

Jared frowned. His shoulders were much too broad for the finely tailored cloth, but it was clear that the prince wanted him to cover his nudity. Humans were very particular about that. While he’d seen sailors wander around without their shirts on, they were never without their trousers.

Or they were, but usually only at night when they were ‘on watch’ together.

Hoping he got it right, Jared draped the material around his waist, covering up his groin. Even if he was mistaken, he had to cover his groin. His new human penis was very exuberant about displaying its affection for Jensen’s beauty.

Jared cleared his throat when he was done. Jensen looked relieved when he looked back, but the flush on his skin did not completely abate, and his eyes kept darting to Jared’s chest.

“Uh, I’d better check you out,” he said. “I mean, get you checked out. Dehydration and, and stuff.”

Jared nodded. He wasn’t dehydrated, but it would do no good to protest his health. Not when he was obviously going with the prince. Half of the battle was getting near to so important a man in the first place. Their meeting was fortuitous.

Now Jared could scrap his plans of breaking into the royal palace and stealing a kiss. There could be wooing instead of questionable actions and assault involved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you found a hunk of man meat wandering around on the beach,” Mark said the instant that Jensen’s chamber doors were closed.

“I wish you wouldn’t call him that,” Jensen said.

“Have you seen him? Wait, scratch that, I know you’ve seen him. In all his glory, no doubt. Tell me, is he proportional?”

“I stand by my assertion that you are vile,” Jensen answered even as a telltale flush started creeping up his neck.

“I’m merely looking out for your best interests. He isn’t some silken haired Adonis, but he seems rather pretty everywhere else. A little male pattern baldness never hurt anybody,” Mark reasoned.

“Are you suggesting that I avail myself of the poor man who washed ashore on my beach? He can’t even speak!”

“Ah, but he can listen, can’t he? I did not get the impression that he was stupid. And not being able to talk means he can’t go whispering your secrets. It’s ideal, really.”

“Ideal for what? Getting my seed out of my body? I have hands, Mark.”

“So does he,” Mark pointed out. “Large ones, if memory serves.”

Jensen shuddered despite himself and looked away. “I…”

“You are fantasizing about some hallucination you had when you were almost dead. Your beautiful, perfect savior doesn’t exist. Even if he does, he doesn’t want to be found. Perhaps he doesn’t want the notoriety. Perhaps he’s a criminal. Who knows?”

“You are trying to twist my affections for my rescuer against me. Even if any of your theories are true, they do not justify me taking advantage of that poor man that I dragged home from the elements.”

“Oh, so it would be okay for your rescuer to take advantage of you, but if you were to seek the same affections from the man you rescued, it would be wrong? Your logic is faulty.”

“You twist my words,” Jensen accused.

“Pity, I hoped to twist your brain.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Being dry was a peculiar feeling. Jared decided that he rather liked it. In the past, his skin had only ever known the crust of salt when it dried out. That was most unpleasant. But the human bathing rituals were very relaxing, and the soft warmth of their beds even more so.

Clothing was not difficult. Jared had worn his ceremonial crown and bracers often enough that the foreign weight on his skin was easily ignored. In fact, the fabrics were rather comfortable when not weighted down by water.

Overall, it was almost a hedonistic experience. He rather liked it. Not as much as he liked Prince Jensen, of course, but there was nothing above or below the sea that could rival his affection for the man. Such were the affections of a merman’s heart. Once given, they were very much given.

As evidenced by the fact that Jared had six siblings, Jared’s father’s affections had been very thoroughly given on many occasions. Jared’s pedigree ran hot in that particular vein of affection, and his now human cock was displaying that fact quite proudly.

Human trousers were a blessing, truly. Jared could only imagine the embarrassment he would have brought upon himself had Jensen been a simple merman floating by. His scales would’ve parted for him for certain, and the whole court would’ve been exposed to the evidence of Jared’s manhood.

Although, given how beautiful the human prince was, Jensen’s merman beauty would be worth some mortification. Jared would bet money that the prince would have a fine tail, a tail worth chasing through the seas.

Eating was quite aggravating though. Jared had no practice at all with the soups that humans consumed. How could he? Soup would just float away in the water. But table manners were important. He was a prince and would not expose himself to shame by displaying such awkwardness. So he feigned a weak appetite, eating the fruit set before him instead.

Now the fruit, that was delectable. Sweet and tangy, it rivaled any of the great harvests that Jared was accustomed to under the sea. It was less bitter, less salty than what he normally ate. And if Prince Jensen’s eyes kept straying to Jared’s mouth as he licked away the juice? All the better.

Jared, after all, only had two and one quarter day’s left to gain a kiss. Nothing to worry about at the moment, but it would be very unfortunate if he had to force his beloved into that kiss. It would set their courtship back.

Not as far back as say, losing his legs and being thrown back to the water to become Sebastian the Sea Lawyer’s slave though. So Jared was more than willing to force his affections on his beloved. It was just a kiss, not sex. He could be forgiven for it.

Jared could grovel with the best of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen bit his lip in an effort to make himself concentrate. The contrived way that Mark had gotten him alone with the mysterious mute man was preposterous. Once they finished hiking back to the castle, he was going to have a word with his manservant about the safety of spooked horses and unsecured wagon wheels.

The large man next to him didn’t seem to be having any such anger issues. Then again, the man was also preoccupied with playing with Oscar who had eschewed his longtime master in favor of the gigantic bald man. Jensen thought that he should be offended by the betrayal of affection, but he was only amused by it.

Jensen’s amusement quite possibly stemmed from the fact that he would like to be licking the man as well. He was… very attractive, even with the strange sideburns that framed his face. Yes, Jensen would very much like to lick down the man’s throat. He would enjoy stroking that patch of hair on the man’s chest, or perhaps touching a certain patch of hair even lower.

“Jackson,” Jensen guessed as they continued walking.

The man shook his head and gave yet another smile. Jensen had started the guessing game early in their travels, before the horse flew off into a wild gallop and the wheels of his carriage fell off, leaving him and his nameless companion stranded, but uninjured – no thanks to one Mark Sheppard.

They had established that the man’s name started with a “J.” Beyond that, he hadn’t been of much help. The urgent rasping of a missing voice had been saddening, so Jensen had resorted to guessing all of the “J” names that he could.

“Joseph? No, I guessed that already. Josephine?”

The man scowled at him and gave him a little shove. Jensen shoved him back and soon they were in a good natured brawl, laughing while Oscar barked happily at them.

nbsp; 

Jensen ended up sprawled over the other man, winning their wrestling match. They were both panting and smiling and hard. Very hard. Jensen thought that he should perhaps be embarrassed by his reaction, but he was only happy for it.

Their mutual state of arousal certainly omitted the need for any tentative and cautious inquires about one’s intimate preferences. So Jensen kissed the man under him. It wasn’t his first kiss, but it was the first one that he ever meant.

By the way that the other man responded, it was not his first kiss either. Jensen could not bring himself to care. He knew that few men shared his preoccupation with love and fidelity.

When he broke their kiss, the other man was practically beaming at him. Happiness radiated out of him so much that Jensen thought that he might actually be glowing.

“I have to guess your name,” Jensen whispered. “I can’t keep calling you Jay. It would be rude if we were to continue… kissing.”

The other man nodded enthusiastically and dropped a large hand down to squeeze Jensen’s ass, showing that Jensen’s message about ‘kissing’ was understood and heartily encouraged.

“Great,” Jensen said as he forced himself to his feet. His trousers were bulging in an unseemly fashion as were his companion’s. “Let us keep moving forward. There are many more names to go through.”

The other man frowned at him and made an irritated and rather rude gesture at Jensen.

“Yes, well, I am a prince. I prefer that we be in a bed,” Jensen answered as he tugged down his waistcoat.

The answering smile was as filthy as a seadog’s, and the man started walking forward with renewed vigor. Apparently he liked the bed idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sebastian stared agog at his crystal ball. “WHAT? OF ALL THE! That loose lipped HUSSY!” He screamed as he threw his contract book at the wall. “What ever happened to decorum and chastity? Those humans are getting more and more depraved with every passing year.”

Jared’s contract sat neatly in its scroll case, mocking him. Humans were supposed to be homophobic idiots. Princes were supposed to marry princesses. That was the way that things went even if said prince was as queer as a nine legged octopus. And princes were supposed to be virtuous men who did not share their affections with any save their beloveds.

Still, all hope was not gone. Sebastian wasn’t one to lose. When he did lose, he made sure that he got his recompense for it. Jared wasn’t going to go on his merry blow jobbing way. That was for certain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh, oh, Jared,” Jensen whined as Jared’s head bobbed up and down on his dick. It was like he didn’t need air to breathe the way that he just kept sucking Jensen’s dick.

It was fantastic and wonderful and Jensen wasn’t sure when the last time was that they’d made it out of his chambers. Four days? Five perhaps?

There were benefits to being the prince. Hot water for baths and fresh meals for hungry stomachs were readily delivered. If the staff had any concerns about why a man as ‘ill’ as Jensen was eating so much food, they did not voice it. In fact, they looked rather happy about it.

Aside from breaking three engagements, Jensen was rather unremarkable as far as gossip went. He was kind and generous and noble. Some called him the marble prince, perfect, flawless and boring.

Jared did not seem to agree with their opinions. He appeared to find Jensen very, very interesting.

“You are insatiable,” Jensen accused as Jared crawled up his body to rest beside him.

Jared grinned at him and poked a fingertip into Jensen’s bellybutton.

“No, no more,” Jensen half protested. “You’ll break it off.”

Jared huffed a laugh and pressed a kiss to Jensen’s temple, around the stem of his eyewear. He was fascinated with Jensen’s spectacles, but not dismayed by them as some were. All of Jensen’s royal portraits had him without his eyewear, and some of the princesses he had courted had been quite put out at his imperfect eyesight.

Not Jared. His only frustration about the glasses had been when Jensen tried to remove them when they were being intimate. He was very insistent that Jensen be able to see him. It touched Jensen’s heart as surely as Jared’s fingers touched other places.

“What do you want for lunch?” Jensen asked as he rolled away from Jared’s inquisitive hands.

Jared shrugged and smiled.

Although he was fluent in Jensen’s spoken word, his written skills were non-existent. He was not illiterate, much to Jensen’s relief, but what he scrawled on paper was not a tongue known to Jensen or any of the scholars he employed. Jared was a man far from home.

It was a miracle that Jensen had guessed his name at all.

“JARED!” a voice boomed in through the open windows.

Jared’s lazy sprawl immediately gained tension, and his eyes darted to the side.

“JARED PADALECKI! YOU GET YOUR TAILFIN DOWN TO THE WATER RIGHT THIS INSTANT!”

Jensen had never seen a man lose color so quickly, and he had seen men take gunshots to their guts.

The tromping sound of soldiers’ footsteps clattered down the hallways. The bells on the towers started ringing. The pattern of the alarm indicated that the man causing the commotion was in the bay.

“You don’t have to go,” Jensen instantly offered. Whatever lunatic was coming for Jared, Jensen could easily pay him off or have him arrested. He was still the prince after all.

But Jared just shook his head and gave him a pleading look. He dressed quickly, not bothering to scrub the evidence of their coupling from his skin. Jensen dressed as well, grabbing Jared’s hand in his own and pulling it in for a kiss before leading the way to his door.

“You aren’t going alone,” he swore.

Jared looked both pleased and irritated by the declaration.

By the time that they reached the bay, Jensen’s men had managed to roll canons down. That seemed a little excessive to him for one man’s crazy yelling. Then he turned the corner and saw what appeared to be a small army of people bobbing in the water.

It was a very strange sight indeed. He wasn’t sure what his soldiers thought was going to happen. Attacking by foot out of the water seemed to be a rather poor plan to him.

“Who goes there?” Jensen called out as he strode out onto his pier.

“King Triton,” one of the men bobbing in the water answered. There was a much, much larger man with a crown on his head floating nearby. Jensen assumed that was the ‘king.’

Perhaps Jared had escaped from a colony of degenerates. It would make a fair amount of sense. Inbreeding could cause a good deal of problems. He couldn’t think of another reason why there would be a swimming attack on his lands.

Still, diplomacy was best observed at all times. Jensen did not wish to become the prince who fired on a pack of lunatics taking a swim. That sort of scandal would haunt him to his grave. They’d be laughing about it when he was on his deathbed.

“Your Highness,” Jensen sketched a bow. “To what do I owe this honor?”

A few of the guards snickered. King Triton glared at them and gripped the hilt of his trident so hard his knuckles turned white. For a crazy man, he had a very ornate looking weapon. Perhaps Jared’s people had not started out as degenerates. Perhaps they had simply been shipwrecked and fallen on hard times on whatever island they lived on.

“You can send my son back to me,” the kind answered sternly.

Oh, well, that certainly made a good deal of sense. King Triton’s bulk was even more impressive than Jared’s, but it was clear that their looks favored each other. Indeed, Jared would only become bulkier as he aged if his father’s form was anything to judge by.

Pity he didn’t get his father’s hair though. His voice would be nice as well. On the other hand, Jared seemed mostly sane. Jensen placed a good bit of worth on sanity.

“I’m sure we can come to some sort of arrangement that would…”

“NOW, HUMAN!” King Triton interrupted with a bellow that caused the seagulls around them to take off in flight.

The sound of rifles being cocked did not seem to bother the king.

“I do not think that Jared wishes to go with you,” Jensen answered calmly.

“Yes, well, Jared is a bit of a natter brain,” the king said in an almost sullen tone.

An exhale of breath was the loudest noise that Jared could make, but a quick glance at his face showed it to be both murderous and mortified.

“Don’t make me come up there and get you,” the king warned.

Jared’s face turned imploring, and he shook his head.

“Jared, don’t be stubborn,” the king’s voice turned pleading. “You know not how I worried over you. I thought you’d been taken by sharks or, or anchor.”

Jared looked a little sad at that, remorseful even. He took hold of Jensen’s hand and turned unhappy eyes upon his father.

King Triton sucked in a breath. “No,” he said. “No, Jared. Not a human.”

There were a few shocked gasps from both Triton’s bobbing men and Jensen’s own soldiers. The implication of Jared’s action was clear, but what surprised Jensen was that King Triton did not appear to be rejecting the notion because of their sex. Perhaps whatever had caused them to become isolated had encouraged them to seek another male’s comfort.

It would make sense. Sailing vessels did not carry as many female passengers as male. Even a transport would have a crew of men aboard it. It was a fascinating sociological exercise that Jensen might have to ponder in the future, right along with why Jared’s people had stopped calling themselves human.

“You don’t belong up there,” Triton continued. “He doesn’t belong with you. His own people will turn on him if he keeps you.”

The pressure on Jensen’s hand tightened, and Jensen was forced to look into Jared’s eyes. There were questions there that Jensen wished he didn’t have to answer, wouldn’t have to answer if Jared was a normal man.

“Jared, son, I wouldn’t be risking my kingdom for you if I didn’t know otherwise.”

“No,” the words formed on Jared’s lips even as his head shook in denial.

“I thought you knew,” Jensen tried explaining. His head was buzzing. How could a day that had started out so right go so horribly wrong?

Jared’s face turned mulishly stubborn, jaw jutting out even as tears kept falling from his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said. His heart was aching. He couldn’t focus on his diplomatic functions when Jared was looking at him like that.

“They’re stupid dolts,” Mark supplied as he suddenly appeared next to them. “Haven’t met a wench they didn’t like, so everybody has got to be like them. It’s the way the world works. His and yours,” he said to Jared.

That made Jared’s expression turn downright thunderous. The heavens seemed to agree with his feelings because a bolt of lightning cracked across the sunny sky.

“Jared! Don’t be dramatic!” King Triton ordered.

A sinking feeling started to form in Jensen’s stomach. No man would think that Jared’s mood cause a fluctuation in the weather unless…

“You really aren’t human, are you?” Jensen whispered.

A bark of laughter came out of Triton’s mouth at that. As Jensen turned to face him, water crested up from nowhere to hold the man aloft. It enveloped him like a throne and…

“Boy, does this tail look human to you?” King Triton asked.

“Mermen?” Jensen said stupidly. Then he turned and hit Jared on the chest. “You’re a merman?”

Jared glowered at him and gave him an equally outraged shove back.

“I think that means, ‘You don’t get to judge, Mr. Sticks-it-in-mute-men-whose-names-I-don’t-know,’” Mark cheerfully supplied.

“I knew his name,” Jensen hissed.

“Oh? So you finally gave it up then? I should have fireworks arranged,” Mark retorted with a maniacal sort of glee.

“I’m not discussing details of an intimate nature with you,” Jensen choked out. His only solace was that over half his troops looked as embarrassed as he was.

“As entertaining as this is, I have to take Jared home now,” King Triton interrupted.

“No, you don’t,” Jensen disagreed.

Jared bore a look of identical surprise to his father.

“Excuse me?” both Triton and Mark asked.

“Well, that seems rather pointless, doesn’t it? I am no magician, but I would guess that Jared went through a good deal of trouble to… grow legs. I would assume from that, that he is very serious about this whole walking on land deal. I’m not sure taking him back home is going to help anything. Plus, we all know about you now,” Jensen pointed out.

“Details,” King Triton dismissed with a wave of his hand. “You won’t be the first humans to forget about meeting merfolk.”

“WHAT?” Jared’s mouth formed what was clearly a yell.

“Jared, be reasonable,” the king said. “I can’t let them go around trying to fish us out of our homes.”

That sent Jared off on a tirade that Jensen couldn’t follow. There was a lot of silent yelling and arm flailing and a few gestures that he gathered were rather obscene in the world of merfolk given the expressions on the faces of assembled merman army as they watched Jared. King Triton seemed rather unfazed by it.

“Yes, yes. Well when you are king, you can make the rules,” he eventually said even though Jared was still voicelessly raving.

“Funny, that is what my father always says to me,” Jensen noted.

“Then he is a wiser man than I thought a human could be,” Triton answered. “Now I am done talking to you. I will give your men two minutes to vacate your beach.”

“Or else?” Jensen challenged.

The sea seemed to swell behind Triton as his eyes glowed. “Or else,” he said, “I’ll swallow them whole with it.”

“Father, no!” Jared’s plea was clear even though it was still silent.

“Then bid your lover goodbye, Jared. And come quickly,” Triton instructed.

Jared looked mutinous, but resignation was clear on his features. He turned and pulled Jensen close, stealing one last kiss, then two, then three.

A voice cleared and thunder crackled overhead.

“I love you,” Jared mouthed the words clearly before taking two steps backwards and plunging off the wooden platform into the now roiling waters.

King Triton looked almost sad as he shifted his grasp on his trident. “If it makes you feel any better, you won’t remember this come the ‘morrow.”

“It doesn’t,” Jensen told him.

His words seemed to please the king as he slipped back beneath the surface of the water. Jensen turned and marched back to his castle, intent on leaving himself a note to explain everything to his amnesiac self. Water chased his footsteps until he was steps above the highest point of the tide. He strode to his chambers and grabbed a quill, but he only got as far as, “His name is Jared,” before he fell asleep and knew no more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I hate you,” were the first words that Jared spoke to his father as soon as his voice was restored.

“That is what you have to say? Do you have any idea how much I had to pay Sebastian for your voice back? He seemed to think that it was pretty even if it sang horribly off key. He was going to use it for his dramatic closing arguments in court.”

“My voice is perfect for dramatic readings. I’m an actor,” Jared reminded him.

“Really? I thought you were a prince’s consort,” Triton mused.

“Not now,” Jared said, “but I will be again.”

“Jared,” his father’s voice turned stern, “this is not a joking matter.”

“Notice my lack of laughter,” Jared told him. “I love him, Father.”

“Love him? You don’t even know him! Bed sport is not the same thing as love.”

“I’m not… I love him! Why can’t you see that?” Jared snapped.

“Because you are young and stubborn and infatuated,” Triton reasoned. “He is handsome and rather brave for a human. But love? Jared, that is not love.”

“What would you know of it? Mother died so long ago that you’ve forgotten what love is!”

“Love is when you are too sick to rise in the morning because you think your youngest has gotten himself killed! Love is when a slimy crab like Sebastian Roché comes to you, and you pay him to tell you where your child has gone instead of throwing him in the dungeons. Love is exposing your entire people, when your people willingly expose themselves for a spoiled boy who has run away from home!”

“And what a great sacrifice these people who love me made! They have rescued me form the ‘evil’ humans who don’t even remember they exist now. Jensen doesn’t even remember me! He doesn’t…” Jared looked away, tears floating into the salt water instead of sliding down his face.

“I know this seems horrible right now,” Triton said, placing a hand on Jared’s shoulder. “But in a few years, it will be something to laugh at. You’ll have a nice, handsome husband to twine your tail with. And maybe by then your hair will have grown back.”

“My hair?” Jared choked out. “You think I care about my hair? Father, I care about my heart!”

“You are overly dramatic. I’ll speak to you later when you have calmed down,” Triton declared as he swam away.

Jared did not follow him. There was no point. The king had final say in all discussions, and Jared was not so foolish as to think that he would be allowed to slip out of the palace unnoticed. There would be guards waiting for him to swim his way back to Jensen. Better the illusion of freedom than the realization of being more of a prisoner than Sebastian.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I am a bit concerned with your obsession with a bit of drunken writing you did,” Mark commented as Jensen flipped through his daily correspondence.

“I’m telling you that it means something,” Jensen said, “or are you going back to the theory that I was taking up creative writing?”

“No, I remain convinced by the physical evidence on your sheets. Congratulations, by the way, on being so virile. I’ve seen brothel sheets less soiled.”

“You’ve been to many brothels, have you?” Jensen asked.

“I have been employed by many barons, earls and dukes before you, Sire. There is no den of iniquity in this land that my boots have not set foot inside.”

Jensen looked at him askance. “I should not be surprised by that, yet I am.”

“You are endearingly pious and virtuous,” Mark allowed. “It is charming and should serve you well when you become king.”

“If I become king,” Jensen corrected. “I fear that I am not destined for such a great title.”

“You are being preposterous,” Mark dismissed.

“I am truly not. I feel, I feel I will be unable to wed,” Jensen admitted.

“Because you shared yourself outside of your marriage bed? My boy, we’d have no leaders at all if they ascribed to such virtue.”

“Not because of that,” Jensen said with a small smile. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Then what?”

“I think I love him,” Jensen admitted softly.

“Love him? You don’t even remember his face! You were drunk. You had a good time. He is no more important than the phantom man who saved you from drowning.”

Jensen frowned. “What phantom man?”

“The one you’ve been going on about since the shipwreck. The one with the magnificent hair who rescued you,” concern colored Mark’s voice.

“That’s preposterous,” Jensen said. “We were in the middle of the sea. There were no other vessels around us. Who would have saved me?”

“Well, that’s what I was saying,” Mark said cautiously. “Only you deeply disagreed. Now you don’t recall the argument at all?”

Jensen shook his head.

“Magic,” Mark’s voice turned angry.

“Magic?” Jensen scoffed. “Sheppard, don’t be absurd.”

“Oh? So you forget things often, do you? Like the face of the man that finally deflowered you?”

“I had a bit too much to drink. Perhaps there were illicit substances involved. Beyond the obvious ones, I mean.”

“I’m going for a walk,” Mark announced instead of arguing with him further. Jensen waved a dismissive hand and went back to his paperwork. There were days when he regretted hornswoggling old Kripke.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You want me to drink this? It looks vile. It smells worse,” Jensen objected as he stared at the vial that his manservant was holding out to him. “Good heavens, is it bubbling?”

“Witches’ Brew isn’t supposed to be tasty,” Mark reminded him with a little shooing motion.

“If I turn into a toad, I’m going to hide in your bedroom and croak every night for the rest of your life. You’ll never sleep again,” Jensen warned before he swallowed the potion.

He woke up to the sound of water beating against the sides of a boat that he was uncomfortably sprawled in. He was in a rowboat, to be exact.

“Sheppard?” Jensen asked as he tried to sit up. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” his manservant was quick to answer.

“I feel horrible,” Jensen mumbled.

“I think that might have to do with prolonged separation from saltwater,” Mark said.

“Why are we in a boat in the middle of the night? Are you rowing? Where are we?” Jensen queried as he struggled to move. It was like his legs weren’t responding properly. He looked down.

“Mark? Where are my legs?”

“Not sure, exactly, Sire.”

“I have a tail. Why do I have a tail?!” Jensen demanded as said tail flopped agitatedly against the bottom of the boat.

“Well, the potion was supposed to reveal true love. You were very insistent about loving your deflowering paramour, so I figured that it wouldn’t be harmful.”

“I have a tail, Sheppard. What part of that strikes you as not harmful?”

“I think, Sire, that we might need to rethink our policies on merfolk.”

“Merfolk? You aren’t seriously suggesting that…”

“I am,” Mark interrupted. “I think that perhaps you were correct about your savior.”

“And he what? Slithered his way into the palace and had his way with me?” Jensen’s tail flickered with excitement at the idea. It was rather disturbing.

“Well, there weren’t scales on the sheets, but… Do you have a better idea?”

“Yes! Your witch friend cursed me! How about that one?” Jensen said angrily.

“Viable, I suppose. But so long as you are as you are, maybe you should go check things out?” Mark suggested as he stopped rowing.

“You want me to jump in the water?” Jensen asked. “I’ll likely drown.”

“You’ll be fine. You know how to tread water with your arms, right? No need to worry.”

“The last time I trusted your judgment, I ended up with fins,” Jensen reminded him even as he pushed himself over the edge of the boat into the water. “You are a horrible manservant,” he announced before plunging under the water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You should shave those off,” Jared’s sister told him. “Sideburns aren’t attractive on bald men. They make you look funny.”

“Go away,” Jared told her. “Can’t you see that I’m pining?”

“Over a human,” she reminded him.

“Yes, over a human. Human pining. Go. Away.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were in love with him,” she teased.

“If you knew any better, you’d know I was,” Jared told her, savoring the look of shock on her face.

“But, but he’s human!” she protested.

“I know. Their sex is fantastic, in case you were wondering.” Those words got her to leave, and Jared went back to moping

“Halt! Who goes there?” The demands of the guards caught Jared’s attention. Even though still upset, being depressed forever wasn’t the answer to his problems, so he swam nearer the commotion.

“Umm, look. This is awkward, but I got lost? Near the sandy reef? I think I took a wrong turn in a kelp bed, and I kind of swam on instinct,” a familiar voice answered. Jared couldn’t quite place it though.

“You got lost?” the guard sounded surprised. “Son, mermen don’t get lost.”

“The patronization thing isn’t helping so much,” the voice answered.

Jared peered around the corner of one of the pillars. If he’d still had legs, he would’ve fallen over. There was Jensen arguing with the palace guards, pretty gold tail flicking back and forth in irritation.

“He isn’t patronizing you,” Jared explained as he drifted over. “Mermen don’t get lost.”

Jensen’s eyes did not spark in recognition, but they were warm with thanks for the rescue. It was unfair, but Jared could work with unfair.

“Sire,” the guard’s tone held warning in it, “I do not think that you should be here right now.”

“I’m fine,” Jared said. “Jensen isn’t a threat; he’s just confused.”

“You know me,” Jensen said.

Jared smiled at him. “I do.”

“You’re Jared,” Jensen’s voice held wonder in it.

Excitement filtered through Jared’s blood. “You remember?”

“No. There was a note. It had your name on it,” Jensen explained with a shrug.

Jared tried not to let that upset him. Obviously Jensen had tried to remember him, and he had succeeded in some small way. “Well, the important part is that you’re here now.”

“Right,” Jensen didn’t look like he stood behind his statement. “Perhaps you could explain to me where ‘here’ is?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Absolutely not!” Triton bellowed. Jared crossed his arms and stared at his father.

“Why not? You said you wanted me to marry a merman.”

“He isn’t a merman any more than you are human! He belongs up there doing human things. You belong down here doing merman things!”

“You’re rather xenophobic, you know that?” Jensen asked mildly.

“What?” Triton demanded.

“You’re xenophobic. The whole ‘us’ and ‘them’ argument: it seems pointless,” Jensen pointed out.

“I didn’t ask you for your opinion!” Triton told him.

“So? Your son didn’t ask me to marry him either. It seems to be a family trait,” Jensen said.

Jared tried not to let that hurt. “You don’t want to marry me?”

“I don’t know you,” Jensen reminded him.

“That’s his fault!” Jared said, pointing an accusing finger at his father.

“It was for your own good. All of this was for everyone’s own good,” Triton reminded them. “What I don’t understand is how you ended up with a tail.”

“I drank a potion, woke up with a tail and a serious craving for saltwater.”

Jared’s father looked surprised at that. “Just a potion? Human magic is not usually so powerful.”

Jensen rubbed the back of his neck and pursed his lips. “I’m told that it was supposed to work on the power of true love.”

Jared couldn’t help the way that his tail flickered at the thought. He also couldn’t stop the smile that drew across his face at the words. He could have not shot his father the smug ‘I-told-you-so’ look, but he did it anyway.

King Triton looked weary at Jensen’s words. “He is my son,” he said back to a Jensen who wasn’t asking for anything, didn’t know to ask for anything.

The Jensen who knew what he was fighting for had been erased. Jared mourned his loss as surely as he knew he could bring him back again. The memories were gone, not the man.

“Do you not have other sons?” Jensen asked.

“Have you somehow conquered the homophobia of your people?” Triton countered.

“I am a prince,” Jensen stated.

“Excuse me?” Triton’s confusion was plain on his face, and Jared couldn’t help but mirror his father’s expression at the subject change.

“I am a prince,” Jensen repeated, “and so is your son. My marriage is expected to strengthen my country’s ties. Yours seems like a powerful one to ally with.”

“You must be mad,” Triton accused. “It would never work! Jared is a merman! He is meant to twine his tail with another merman and, and…”

“I have a tail,” Jensen interrupted.

Jared half expected his father to remind Jensen that he wasn’t supposed to be the way that he currently was. He more than half expected another argument to break out.

“I suppose that you do,” was Triton’s soft response.

“Father?” Jared asked softly.

“Jared, while I may not be the most open minded merman in the sea, I am not a fool. I know a fight that I cannot win. Your young man is quite stubborn. And he is apparently in love with you.”

“I am?” Jensen asked.

“I’m going to ignore that,” Triton told him. “Now, let’s sit down and begin the negotiations, shall we? I’m not marrying off my beloved Jared for nothing.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epilogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, I heard this story today,” Jared said the instant that Jensen was bedded down next to him in their room.

“Oh?” Jensen asked.

“Yes, about a mermaid who fell in love with a prince and traded her voice to a sea witch for legs.”

“Sounds familiar,” Jensen noted.

“Yeah. Only the prince was a schmuck who didn’t kiss her and almost ended up marrying the witch,” Jared pouted.

“But he didn’t. Did he?” Jensen prompted.

“No, no. There was some magic involved and a ship skewering the evil octopus lady through when she grew into gigantic proportions,” Jared assured him.

“Preposterous,” Jensen noted. “You’re going to adapt it for the royal acting troupe’s summer performance anyway, aren’t you?”

Jared shrugged. “I rather like it.”

“You would.”

“Well it’s not like having them act out scene upon endless scene of political negotiations would be a romantic ending,” Jared pointed out. “How many days did it take you to finish haggling with both of our fathers?”

“Enough that Sheppard had almost gotten the wedding planned out before we were done. If it had taken any longer, I might’ve signed the final arrangement after we’d already consummated our union.”

“Mmm, if I recall we did that quite a few times before then,” Jared reminded him.

“Well, yes. But that would make for a very poor family show. We should at all times portray valor and virtue to our young,” Jensen reminded him.

“I’m not sure I should do the play then. The prince’s parents are mysteriously absent, yet he is still the prince. It seems that I would be inaccurately portraying the government. Impressionable minds might be confused.”

“Confusion is the most accurate representation of the government,” Jensen reminded him. “Also? Your father wants us to swim down for dinner on Wednesday. He wants to discuss a fruit trading agreement.”

“I swear that you have more of an affinity for your tail than I do for being dry,” Jared mock complained.

“My tail is very, very pretty. And it likes spawning with yours,” Jensen reminded him. “Besides, I need to make your father happy. Happy King Tritons make for smooth sailing for my navy. If he wants to indulge in his personal fantasy that I’m just another merman who has fallen prey to one of his children’s charms, I’m not going to discourage that.”

“You are devious and diabolical,” Jared accused.

“I am,” Jensen agreed as he combed his fingers through Jared’s hair. “I’m still not used to this.”

Jared tossed his head, making the silken strands slide through Jensen’s fingers. Jensen laughed.

“I rather like having it back,” Jared said.

“It is beautiful,” Jensen agreed. “Though I am confused about what Sebastian did with it originally? I saw him before the wedding, and his hair looks the same now.”

Jared shrugged. “I had heard that he intended to seduce some young man with it by pretending to be me. I’m not sure how given that I have a tail, and he doesn’t. But who knows. It was a very nice wedding gift though.”

“Yes, political desperation often inspires the best presents,” Jensen noted.

“I can think of something else that would be even better,” Jared suggested as his hand slid under the covers and reached for his husband.

“Can you now?” Jensen asked as he turned to snuff out the candle by the bed.

“I think,” Jared whispered in the dark, “that we should start taking advantage of that new equal marriage law that your father dictated. One can never be too consummated.”


End file.
